Monday, December 12, 2011

Exam Week

Exams. A joyful event where the students of the school of 400 fit neatly into their separate rooms, and take an hour-and-a-half test. The teachers are skipping down the halls, happy and jubilant to answer the student's insightful question in a way that would satisfy the student, yet bring them no closer to understanding the problem. The proctors roll out the mats, as these days are known by all to be “paid rest days”, as there would be no cheating, for it IS a Christian School. The students themselves are calm and collected, as they have spent every moment from when the final exam ended last year til their head hit the pillow the night before the exam today. These attentive children are the most pure, innocent souls God has ever placed on the earth, because He did. They all have their two #2 pencils (and two blue ink pens, just in case), two extra sets of batteries for their calculators, and several extra sheets of loose leaf paper.
Ah, yes, I can feel the calmness and the joy in the air. I wish Exam-mas came every year!
Yes, yes, you may now bludgeon your monitor after reading this.  

Thursday, December 8, 2011

An Observation on Hatred

Today, I delve into the strange methods of my mind again, though simply with an observation of a happening with a classmate in the lunchroom.
As I sit down at the lunch table, one of my good friends turns and asks [censored], “Would you rather have JHBlancs or [redacted] sitting at the table next to you?”
Pause, and rewind a bit. I need to provide some background. [redacted] and [censored] used to be very good friends, as far as anyone could know. During the summer, though, they allegedly engaged in a fight over some man, and have since enjoyed a peaceful ignorance of each other. This is complicated by the fact that they both have practically the same friends.
With this in mind, let's hit the play button on the flashback. [censored] thinks for a second, and responds: “Actually, I’d rather have JHBlancs sit next to me. Congratulations J— wait, wait, you're actually HIGHER on the list than someone else? Wow, good job!”
If you know me closely, you'd understand when I say that I cannot tell you what I said next. Rest assured, I was incensed by this. I even left angry, seconds later.
I can honestly say that those words I said, for what is maybe one of the four or five times in my life, were simply made to hurt. I walked away amazed at my action, whether or not it was earned by her words. I don't understand the use of them. If I was trying to achieve some goal, I’d be justified, at any rate. But the words were simply hatred for the sake of hurting.
The reason I do not engage in such speech is that it never leads to peace and kindness. A bitter thing always leads to another bitter thing, and if I go any further in explanation, I risk using cliches. Just know that my further explanation involves the golden rule, something churchy about Jesus, and kittens.
Another thing I cannot stand is when someone puts me above someone else. If it is an award, or something I put my time into, I will accept it with glee, for I take it in the hope that I earned it more than the other people who did not get it. What is worse is when a [censored] puts a [redacted] lower than me as a slight. This is not to say I am offended by being used to hurt someone else, Though I hate how this harms the other person. I am quite content with my station in life as the less popular person, and when someone puts somebody lower than I with their words, I hate it. Not only does this make said [censored] feel like the master of two souls, but it places [redacted] in a location they are not used to. Note that [redacted] was not present at this time.

[censored], though, seems to get her high from doing just that. In anyone in my high school life, I hadn't met someone so grounded in hatred. For most everyone, I would refrain from giving the word “arrogant” to their personality, though I believe she already has it stapled to her, so the point of calling it her own. If saying this puts me on the spot for being arrogant myself, so be it.
Now, as to why she doesn't enjoy my presence, That is mostly my fault, as I usually say things before I have thought them through. True, if I were to speak this post to a crowd impromptu, I would not sound nearly as intelligent. Unfortunately, I have had many, many opportunities to exemplify this to my class.
[censored] may be considered evil to me, though this is not to say I do not see greatness in her. The reasoning behind it escapes me, but she has definitely a great future ahead of her. If you know who [censored] is, please help me understand her. And, not intending to sound weak, I could use some help to get her to stop, for she has done this far too long, and I grow tired of her.

On a lighter note, I'm going to a rocket launch on Saturday, here's the link:

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The Many Songs of Christmas (Or, Why My Christmas Spirit will Always be Dead)

Let me tell you what occurred in my car on the way home. While flipping through radio channels, I rested on 104.7, “The Fish”. First words I hear are, “Sir, can I buy these shoes...”
I cannot tell you what I did next, for fear of legal and parental retaliation. Rest assured, my rage was infinite at that moment. When I got home, I was listening to John Lennon, singing Merry Xmas. I thought it was an enjoyable enough song, until I looked it up on YouTube. Here's what I got as the first result.


Rest assured, the weeping African montage did not lighten my mood. I turned on the radio upstairs and listened to the most overplayed Christmas songs on earth. Santa Baby, Have a Holly Jolly Christmas, the First Noel... I could go on, but I wish to keep my sanity in check. While surfing the net, I found myself assaulted by Black Friday, Christmas, Cyber Monday, even a few Hanukah advertisements. Eventually, I logged into my online social gaming, where I was lambasted by my e-friends because I didn't share their Christmas spirit. I feel some pretense is needed to truly explain this.
I never was into Santa. As an inquisitive and curious child, who keeps track of patterns, I realized that there was an inordinately large amount of Santas around. By age six, I was completely disillusioned to Santa, though nobody really knew until two years later.
My family, until I stopped it, would have the Christmas music playing at the start of Thanksgiving at the latest. This is where I began to get disillusioned to Christmas. I also learned to gain a distrust of happy-go-lucky style things, as such aren't to be as great as thought. This isn't to say I didn't enjoy some of them, but if the repetition continues for a month, for ten years, you get tired of it. I would boycott life whenever I heard an annoying Christmas song.
One thing I did, and still do appreciate, are creative ways to celebrate the season. New Christmas songs I enjoy, as do I Christmas Lights. Even seventeen years young, I will yell “I see Christmas” whenever we go by a new string of Christmas lights. As crass as it is, a certain song I cannot repeat by LonelyIsland, about certain appendages in a gift box, which is attached to your hip. Such imaginative songs make Christmas refreshing. Other songs such as this are...yet to be named, but I'm sure they're out there.
Then there are classic Christmas songs, which are classic because they are amazing and have a penchant for being epic. Carol of the Bells is one of these, as is any Christmas hymn (though this one is subject to the overplayed nature of it, and how much it's been changed). I guess when Christmas songs get too annoying is when it gets too patronizing, either in the overwhelming happiness or the undercurrent of depression. For an example of the latter, there is “Do they know it's Christmas 1984” by Band Aid.


I know, after this song finishes abusing your ears, all you wish to do is burn all your liquid assets and donate all your money to oil companies. Don't worry, just go downstairs and leave your oven on as your house's internal heating for a few hours to get back in touch with your wasteful, horrible, worthless life, you evil, evil consumer. Shame. My sources tell me I should not let the prior sentences stay in the post... which I respond with hope that my precious readers keep their valuable breakables well away from their computers.
The rest of Christmas is just annoying. It's become a consumer pit, and the very statement “the true meaning of Christmas” is cliched to the point where saying it instantly garners eye rolling from anybody. This holiday would not be nearly as annoying, if I was not part of the minority on this mindset. Apparently, I am.
Today, I walked into a classroom, which had a Christmas song playing, Carol of the Bells. I like d the arrangement, so I was calm. Then, someone put on Christmas Shoes. It was all I could do to stay sane. Here's the conversation that occurred:

“Can you please turn that off? I don't enjoy it.”
“Oh, but why JHBlancs? It's a classic Christmas song!!! you should enjoy it!!!”
“It's not a classic, it's a depressant. I mean, play something happier, at least.”
*changes to “Baby it's Cold Outside”*
“...”
“What?”
“Nothing. Hey, do you think that window is sturdy?”
“Uh, yeah, it really is, actually.”
“bummer.”
After she switched to Chipmunks Christmas song, I made an attempt at the window. Sadly, she was correct about the sturdiness of the window.
I feel the whole of the holiday season's been perverted, and I will have no part of it's merriment. At least, not in the way that most people have. I'll take my Jesus to the corner and be merry with him, without the sounds of Christmas screaming in my ears.
But I cannot even relax with Jesus, knowing it's his birthday. This happens when you were born the day before, the birth of our one Savior and Redeemer sort of casts a shadow and blots your birthday out. On the bright side, I get “double presents” from my parents, though on the downside, I celebrated my 12th - 16th birthday party two Junes ago. I'm not bitter, it's just one more nail in my Christmas Spirit coffin.
By the way, if you are wondering why I was listening to songs I despise, I promised myself I’d spend a day listening to nothing but Christmas songs. And yes, my blood pressure and rage are unthinkably high right now.
And yes, I enjoy being Scrooge here. It's cheaper this way, believe me.  

Friday, November 18, 2011

A Poem For Today

Since I need to post something, having not done so in several weeks, I seek to do so. Understand, though, that I have not been inspired as of recently to write anything but poetry. Here is a sample. It is the theme poem for Mount Pisgah's literary magazine titled, “Defying Gravity”. I was one of the voices against such a name, because I feel it is cliched. But I digress, here is:

What if..
To defy gravity was to turn around,
to jump off a cliff and never touch the ground?
To go up and never get down?
To go right, when they go left,
the straight and narrow, whilst they cleft,
to be right when they are wrong,
and you both knew it all along!

Once you were asleep; now, awake,
free yourself, see the day,
the world is affected by the choices you make,
so stand up, stand straight, and walk the way,
walk in the sky, liberate!
Bump shoulders with the showman fate!

God will see you, though you not him,
his son gives you wings from the great I AM,
though these not be wings of flesh and bone,
these be wings of a mind well honed.

tell every city, meadow, and glen,
that they are forever forgiven,
the cyclic wrath, the cyclic hate,
with that one word, it dissipates!

Defy the norm in human sense,
aim yourself for godliness,
that high road we can never reach,
but still aim brothers, I beseech,
for in that search, one may find,
perfect union with the one divine,
and in this godless city and age,
that is truly a remarkable change!

(Also, I never knew I could center align something in Blogspot. Learn a new thing every day.)
(Note: I will do commissions and requests for poetry, depending on the subject matter.)

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Judgment Series: Humanity's Role, and Why and How We Judge

    Continuing on my intrigue into the nature of judgment, I next inquire about the human judgment. Specifically, how we judge, why we judge, when we shouldn't judge, and the irony of judging someone who judges. Considering myself a Christian, I will answer from that perspective, though you may find this explanation would resonate with Atheists. Sadly, upon noticing the prior statement, I can understand if more than a few subscribers without a God refrain from reading the rest of this.

    First though, I must supply a background to my point of view. Being a well disliked person in my high school, I understand the concept of judgment, and forgiveness (check the post on that one a few weeks ago). Many, many people judge me fast, and I accept their judging, for much of what I do is without explanation; The bank robber, in this case, truly does not know how or why the money got in his car. I see every judgment as a way to improve upon myself.

    Put that on the shelf for the moment, and consider: Why do we judge, as Christians? (Warning: digression in progress) As I stated before, in my previous post, Christians are seen as incredibly hypocritical, because we shun people who we judge, and stereotypically despise those who our faith tells us to love. I cite the Westboro Baptist Church, and Terry Brooks as such people (After much thought, so as to be as full and complete in my analysis of each of said party's actions and motives). Another thing, below, speaks volumes about how Christians are viewed:
    The above link leads to an Islamic believer who has posted three videos testifying the nation's general view of Christianity. He created that YouTube page to prove that the Christian's tenet of “love your enemy” is a null and void statement in the Christian eye. The three videos he has posted are quite vilifying. But this man doesn't notice one thing: he states in his youtube page that, just because of these few Christians' hatred, the “loving” Christian religion is null and void. Just because that one pastor could not answer that question, must mean that nobody can. This type of fallacy is called the Straw Man Fallacy, where someone finds a weak mockery of their opposition, and attacks it to the point of making the stronger opposition seem weak and worthless. Sadly, both parties throw these Straw Man into the debates, and these few extremists' points of view are stretched across the whole.
    But I digress.
    I asked, why do we, as Christians, judge? Didn't Jesus say, “Thou shalt not judge”? Or, if not those precise words, some translation of those words? Well, put the Jesus part on the shelf, let's start from the beginning. Flip your bibles open to the Garden of Eden. The world was whole, complete, perfect. Everything was as it should be, and man had complete union with God. Two people could do whatever they wanted to, save for one single thing. The tree itself, I feel has no serious religious importance. The act of disobeying God, that one act, symbolized when mankind fell from perfection, is the focus of the story. The rest of the story consists of both Adam and Eve blaming the other for the eating of the apple, and I cannot say enough how infantile that part made me feel. The first two humans, blaming so fast and stupidly.

    Ever since then, we have been disobeying God consistently, hundreds of times a day. In the Bible, it reads: “Every sin is equal in the eyes of the creator” (paraphrased, check out 1 John 3:4-5). Sin can be simply identified as anything you are involved in that excludes God. Depending on your interpretation of the bible, this can range anywhere, from a thought about a nice girl in your class to murder. As Adam and Eve show, humans judge each other to keep them on the straight and narrow. It's necessary.

“But wait JHBlancs... didn't you say Jesus himself told us not to judge?”

    Yes, yes, thank you for reminding me. This is where some context came in. Jesus was throwing a quick jab at the Pharisees, the holy men. Pharisees and Sadducees were all about judging. They, considering themselves above anyone else, holy men with no mortal equal, handed out judgment like candy on Halloween. Jesus says further down the red letters, “If you tell someone they have a speck in their eye, while you have a log in yours, you kind of need to get rid of the log in your eye first. Otherwise, if you rail them for their speck, it makes you look really bad. Just wanted to let you know.” (paraphrased, and I'll do a post on Jesus' treatment of the Jewish authority of the day, later)
    Jesus never meant to say, “As a Christian, you should do absolutely nothing when you see someone doing wrong, if it means judging someone. Just be passive. Good Christian, good Christian... want a cracker from Christ?,” he meant to say, “Do not judge like the Pharisees do. They're not that fair, you see. Instead, try to judge them as you would judge yourself. Think thoroughly before judging, and keep in mind that you possess the same flaws as they do, sometimes more so than the person you judge.”
On a related note, I hear Christ crackers are delicious. Never tasted one, though.

    This ties back to the irony of a Christian who judges. This is a fun one. Try calling someone arrogant, and count how many times you think, “wait, aren't I being arrogant saying that?” To me, at least, saying this is the human equivalent of telling a computer, “this statement is false.” I just can't handle that statement. Why? Because calling someone else arrogant is telling that person that they judge quickly, with little regard to their own standing. Calling someone that puts you above them, at a level where you can judge the judger as if you are better. So, when I feel it necessary to relate this, I first get away from the person in question, so as to not offend the person, then my statement sounds like this:
    “First, I took a while to think about this... and I’ve come to the conclusion, realizing that I am in no way fit to legitimately make this judgment, that [insert name here], though he may have a lot of qualities, [list out qualities], I feel he is somewhat arrogant. I'm not saying that he is, but it's how he rubs off on me, I guess I just don't like him.”
    Of course, as soon as I say this, someone says, “wouldn't that make you seem arrogant, by saying that?” In response, I slap the person.
    If I would have to weigh my two cents on it, I’d say we judge because it's necessary. God and Jesus are okay with it, so long as we take into consideration that God set standards for both parties in question, and no mortal party is greater than another. Take into consideration all about the other person, the reasons for their faults, the justification for their wrongdoings. Never call someone out from a position of higher authority, always seek an equal debate. And, paramount to anything else, make sure you keep in mind Jesus' teaching, and the word of God when you see a fault. For, if you leave God out of your mind, then your position is only backed up by your loose mortal standings, and you fall. 

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Judgment Series: God's Judgment (Work In Progress)

(Note: I still have yet to pass this with my biblical authorities, so take the religious truth of this with a grain of salt)
If you've read my post of forgiveness, you'd understand me when I say I am not quite the most popular student at school. People often pass judgment on me, and most of the time I judge myself much the same way. The most interesting part of this is when you take in to account that I attend a Christian school (though we refrain from daily prayer, which is strange).
      Many people today scoff Christianity because, amongst a mountain of other problems which I will address later, we come off as extremely judgmental. They look at our judgments and then say “Well, if you are Christians, and you say, 'only God is fit to judge, since he's the only perfect being', yet you judge constantly!”, then they throw the hypocrisy card, and Christians as a whole cannot combat their accusations.
      I do have an explanation, though I must add a disclaimer before hand. You'll see the asterisk for this disclaimer later in the explanation, though I feel I must make it know beforehand, to increase the likelihood of someone actually reading the rest of the post.
*JHBlancs realizes this is an incomplete description, as it does not address the actual reasons behind judgment. In order to truly grasp the concept, JHBlancs (hereafter referred to as I) has agreed to add another post in short time about other aspects of the topic. I will only speak of God's judgment today, so as to clear up misconceptions. Later, I will speak on human judgment.

When one accuses a Christian, and said Christian balks as he realizes the accusation is true, both parties misinterpret the word in question. “judgment”, I (and many of my mentors) believe, has a double meaning, though they are similar. There is the human judgment, where one man tells the other he has done wrong, and then seeks to punish the man. Then, there is God's judgment, which is more complex.
Allow me to paint a picture:
     “A man walks into the small, rural gas station. He planned everything out: kill the clerk, cut the phone lines, rig the place to blow, then get out of there with the safe. Once the police figure out, he would have been miles down the road, dropping the safe off in a lake. Then, he'd run into the wilderness, where he stashed enough supplies to live to months.
     “As he looked around, he instantly recognized problems. There was a family with three children in there with him, and one child screamed when he saw his handgun when he shifted his coat. The father came up to him and inquired about the handgun. In response, the man panics and punches the father in the face, throwing him on top of the little-most child, suffocating her. The wife let out a scream, which the man cut short with two bullets. The clerk brought out a shotgun, but the man was too fast and killed the clerk with two more bullets.
“The two remaining children were breaking apart, their lives completely destroyed. The man decided to leave them as he opened the register, finding less than eighty dollars in there. The man went for the safe, which was too large for him to lift. Still in a panic, he ran out into the vehicle the family came in with, stole everything of value, and, being close to the Canadian border, escaped to Canada.
“The search for the man was fruitless. The two children would never return to normalcy, despite the therapy heaped upon them. The family of the killer, already in shambles, fell completely apart, as this was the final push to shove them all apart; none of them would ever speak to each other again
“As to the man himself, after making it across the Canadian border, pawning off everything from the vehicle,and driving hundreds of miles from anywhere, in the freezing north of the Northwest Territories, the ghosts of what he did still plagued his mind. He stopped his car and walked for miles into the cold. Finally, he took his pistol out, put it to his mouth, and pulled the trigger.”
     Now, I will not judge this, though I can tell you where God was. God was there, God gave the man the choice to buy the handgun, to execute the plan, to kill, to steal, to run away, to suicide. God was there. I believe that God gives us choices. That is the first part of his type of judgment. Adam and Eve were both given the choice of whether or not to disobey God, and they did.
     The second type of judgment happens when the bullet ricocheted through the man's brains, killing him painlessly. I will not speak of the man's verdict, though I will say, “that Jesus was the defendant's lawyer, and God was a merciful judge. They went through all the choices God let him make, not in the last days of his life, but his life as a whole. The prosecutor, Satan, put in his expert witnesses, all attesting to the man's damnation, though God already new their testimonies. The man himself was frightened and awed. When all was said and done, judgment was passed.”
I will speak on heaven and hell later.
     God doesn't hand out judgment in the human sense, he hands out judgment in the way that ultimately makes sense. He wants humanity to come to him by their own volition, and if he plays any part in our salvation, he feels we have been cheated out of our true heaven.
     For, if we come to know God and Jesus by meeting Him halfway, when both parties know that God forced the mortal into the immortal's path, then the temporary man does not truly understand salvation.
More to come on this topic.



(For interesting insights into Death, Time, Hell, Nature, and other themes, look for Piers Anthony's Incarnations of Immortality series. Don't expect it to be biblically accurate. 

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Remembering the Dead


Ezekial Stephens lived between 1793 and 1872. In 1812, he fought in the war of 1812, as a private of the Tennessee militia. Years later, the children would run up to his porch, and be enraptured by his endless tales of the war, many of which he did not have to exaggerate for dramatic effect. The children would then promise they would never forget him, and then proceeded to spread the news of the man. He was a local legend, some say he charged in at the head of the cavalry, though close friends of his would tell you differently.
I found this man at Garrett Cemetery, formerly known as Old Holly Springs Baptist Cemetery, in Cobb, Georgia. It was between a Shell gas station and a salon. The church that was once attached to it is long since disappeared, most likely the salon possessed it. God's acre itself was only identifiable by a wrought-iron gate. I would've never known about it, if my father hadn't pointed it out while we were walking by it. A thick cloud of shrubbery and trees hides it from the public eye, and, despite the exorbitant amount of traffic going by on highway 92, the air inside the eternal home was cold and silent. The sky was bright blue above, yet everything seemed muted.
I stood at the entrance, feeling as If I had intruded upon a symphony, or a meeting in which everyone present was raptly at attention; I felt forty-two stares. I couldn't say anything, for fear of disturbing the marble markers more than I already have. There were two boxed in sets of graves, with “GARRETT” and “FOUTS” on them. The Stephens were arrayed on the opposite side of the acre-sized grave site. One tombstone, almost ten feet from the entrance, was unintelligible.
Ezekial is simply one of forty-two internments at this cemetery. Each one of these people had a rich history; I put Ezekial's name, and my description above of the man is directly referenced from
How many people are forgotten within a hundred years of their death? I would have never brought the memory of those forty-two back to the light had it not been for a comment from my father. Do not try to be remembered in this life; It is a futile attempt. Only a few select people may be remembered for eternity: Jesus, Plato, Newton, Aristotle... Even Shakespeare is slowly dying, the light of his glorious penmanship weeping for lack of someone reading it.
So, I challenge you not to work for remembrance in this world; even a million years of your place in history is nothing in the annals of time. If you work for the achievement of those million years, then what have you truly gained? Sure, you'd be respected, you'd be remembered. For one million years, people would say, “What would you do?” You would be a faux god in people's eyes. But what would you have lost in your reach for those million years of remembrance?
As I typed this prior paragraph, I realized that I am describing Jesus' impact. He will be remembered, hopefully for much more than a million years. Though, does this mean he spent too much time trying? I believe he did. Though, since he really was (or, for the Atheists in the crowd, “believed he was”) God, I think he's justified.
Rather, work for making other people be remembered for millions of years. Ezekial Stephens may not be remembered, though he helped Andrew Jackson defeat the hostile Creek Indian tribe, which allowed Jackson to go to New Orleans to repel the British from the city.
Plato and Aristotle both had some inspirational person they refer to. George Washington, also. Truett Cathy cites his father as the source of his perseverance. Every major cultural icon, people who will be remembered for a million years, will remember one or two people as the people who helped them to the heights of history. I aim to, and I challenge you to try. Because if you're the one person the man with a million-year legacy remembers, Then you've been remembered for more years than he has. For, when you commit a man to memory, you also recognize the people who brought him up to memorable mention. You also find life much easier to cope with, free from the desires of the world. The Bible is full of wise words, and one verse demands representation here. I will close with this verse:
"So the last will be first, and the first will be last." -Mat. 20:16

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