Friday, September 16, 2011


Yes, a serious post for now. I'll think of one with more whimsy later.
My life has been a series of mistakes since my first grade. As a child with ADHD, I was naturally introverted, and missed most of the social lessons, many of which I am still learning now. With each small mistake comes a lesson, and it feels as if the former stacks up much higher than the latter, against me.
Along with each mistake comes a slowly growing list of people who I have offended. After seventeen years, this list has grown colossal and crushing in size. For the longest time, I searched for relief.
It was in this search that I found forgiveness. Forgiveness is not pardoning people for their wrongdoings; It is telling them it is acceptable for all to do wrong, though the fact does not liberate them from taking accountability and responsibility for the action. Indeed, I deal with behavioral disarray due to a mental disorder, though I understand that this is a part of me, and I need to own my actions, not my disorder.
Forgiveness also helps the ones who hurt others. A bitter enemy of mankind, regret, works in mighty forces here. It manifests when the offender never gets to ask for forgiveness. This kind of sadness works as a depressant; it eats at you. You can live off of hatred and bitterness until the day you die, but regret will poison you until you weep.
Forgive while you can. I have a childhood ruined because of the lost ability to make amends. Many instances I remember shameful, completely backwards things I’ve done mindlessly. I am not saying one should be absolved of all wrongdoings and set free; one learns nothing through such. Instead, understand the reasons the person made said wrongdoings, and seek to understand the person better.  

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