In news related to the beginning of this post, I feel it pertinent to share how exactly God called me. It was just at the end of the third day at Bigstuf Camp Retreat, and I ran out onto the sand. I forgot all the cynicism I had. I used to think, “When God calls me, I'll miss the call.” God had prepared me for this; For the last two months, I have slowly been giving more and more of myself over to Christ, asking him to say something. I woke up that day, without a second thought as to what it would hold, but there was that physical feeling in my chest. That feeling that told me, “something'll happen today. Just be sure not to get hurt by it.” Only physical, so I brushed it off as sleeping awkwardly.
After the evening service, though, I definitely understood the need for a one-on-one moment with God. I ran out onto the sand and looked up. Clouds were thrown into relief by the lights of the city alone, but a dozen stars still punched through the light pollution.
As I looked into the sky, I began speaking fast, I knew something was coming. What I said was unimportant, for soon after I began speaking, the thought was pushed into my mind “Ten Thousand Letters.”
I did a double take on this, then asked what- no, is that all? I asked that, unaware that God told me. See, In my eyes, God calls you as a thought. He rarely ever goes into burning bush mode. He calls everyone once or twice a day, but we aren't ready to hear him, so we brush it off as our own thought. But, when you're prepared, and shut the world away for a second, you can hear his voice.
It's sort of like this: on a computer, when you type a button the program is not set to register, it ignored it. But it still comes from the keyboard (or, your voice.). In real life, God's voice is that button you're not programmed to register. The button is like a capital “I”, instead of a lowercase “l”. to me, they're synonymous. But some times, when you switch your fonts, you can make out the difference. Then you just have to open yourself up to register that one letter,and close off all the other buttons. Even still, you may just say, “Oh, I pressed an “I”? huh. Strange.”
But God told me “10,000 letters”, and I realized that wasn't much. I told him I'd give him 20,000. Refer to my prior post for more info on that.